Personal development: 26 things I learned in 26 years

Today I prepared a special and very personal post for you about personal development! For my birthday, I wanted to share with you 26 things I learned in 26 years! I’m sure it can help you to stop doing things that are negative for you and start doing great things to live the life you want! This post is not another guru speaker guaranty of a magical life, but a sincere summary of my own experiences to help you concretely with real tips.

This is a very personal and intimate post because today I’m sharing my personal life and experiences, but at the same time, it’s a post dedicated to everyone. I mean everyone that wants to change their life and start to live the life they want! I have reunited all the things I have learned of my own experiences to turn it into a small summary, easy to read and really useful for you. Here are only real, sincere and useful tips, there is no bla bla. I sincerely wish I could have learned all these things before and I’m really happy to be able to share them with you here today.

This post is quite complete and is talking about diverse important topics that we should all take care of: self-love, relations with others, ambitions, taking risks, the will to change, but also learning to let go of certain things or living in the present. I have always been interested in how to rise up to be a better person and helping others to do so, this is why I wanted to share my own experiences and researches with you today! I know you are impatient to read this post, so let’s start! 😉

Personal development: 26 things I learned in 26 years

1 Live for you: what people think has zero importance

This is probably the most important tip I can give you and the most meaningful one to me: live for you! Do a job you love, eat what you want, dress according to your personality, befriend with who you want, feel free to love the person your heart has chosen.

What people think has absolutely zero importance. This is your life, not theirs! If they don’t like your lifestyle, your choices, your friends, your boyfriend or even your style, this is not your problem, it is their own responsibility! Don’t feel guilty to live your life. You are totally right!

Usually, people are just projecting their own fears on you. Don’t listen to them and don’t act according to their wish. Be who you are and do what makes you happy. The only thing that matters is your happiness. Never forget that!

2 Don’t try to please everyone

On the same topic, one of the most important things I have learned and I wanted to share with you is that you must never try to please everyone! There will always be people that don’t like you, yes this is mandatory! Jealous people are everywhere. You may reflect something they don’t have, or being something they are not. But the good news is that you don’t care, you don’t need these people in your life. Once again, this is not your responsibility but their!

Your responsibility is to be you and 100% true to yourself. Don’t ask yourself how to act with a certain kind of people, what to say or not say. Always be yourself. It’s better to be hated for someone we are than loved for someone we are not! We don’t have time to pretend to be someone else just to please others.

In being true to yourself, you will attract the persons that are vibing for you and get out of your way the persons you don’t need in your life!

3 Learn to say no to others and yes to you

It’s really important to learn to say no to others. Sometimes people are not aware that they are asking too much from you and they would never do the same back for you. I know sometimes you can be too kind, it happens to everyone, but you can not accept everything.

Because people will see it and will always ask too much. They will take your time and your energy, but it is precious. You need it for you and for the right persons. When you don’t want to do something, learn to say no. When something goes against your will, say no. You will say yes to yourself!

4 Avoid toxic people

To continue this topic, you should absolutely avoid toxic people and ban them from your life! Sometimes we are not conscious about it, but certain persons around us may be toxic. If you have people around you that are taking everything from you and not giving anything in return, this is a toxic relationship. This works for your time, money, love or energy. Let go of these people, you don’t need them.

I also want to insist on that point for all the girls and women that are in a relationship where they are not sure if this person is toxic. There are certain facts that don’t lie. If the person has ever cheated on you or has already hit you, STOP the relation immediately. This kind of man will never change, NEVER. Don’t think you can make them change. These persons are unable to love. I mean not the way you need to be loved.

5 Surround yourself with the good persons

Indeed, you need to surround yourself with the right persons. The person that truly loves you for what you are, not for what you look like or what you have. The persons that believe in you, that are supporting you in your projects whatever they are, persons that are positive in your life. The ones that are smart, open-minded, that make you think, rise up and push your limits. But also the persons that make you smile, laugh and give you the freedom to be who you truly are in their company!

6 Make the right priorities

Accord time to the persons that are worthing it, don’t spend it with the wrong persons! Time and energy are precious. Keep it for the right persons!

Also, talking about making the right priorities, a day is only 24h so you need to make the right priorities! Have you ever had the impression that the day passed by so fast and you have not done what you had to do? You need to reorganize your priorities! At the beginning of the day, make a clear list of the most important things you have to achieve today. And start by these things. What is less important and not a priority can be done after!

7 Self-love is the most important

Self-love must be a priority in your life. If you don’t start by loving your self first, how can you love anyone else? Self-love is a long process but it starts by stopping immediately, today, right now, to criticize yourself! Act as if you were only allowed to compliment yourself. Focus on the positive and not what you find negative.

Also, it’s important to take time for yourself, just for you. Do something you love. Read a good book, get your hair or nails done, get your makeup done, cook a healthy meal, go to the gym… Do something that is good for you. And once again, learn to say no to others, and yes to you!

8 Accept yourself, and then change

By the way, you can totally decide to change something about you that you don’t like but you first have to accept yourself like you are today. It’s not about accepting yourself or changing. It’s about first accepting and loving yourself and be able to change. It is because you love yourself that you will be able to change.

You have a beautiful body, that permits you to live, travel, dance, laugh and love. It is the home of your soul and it is precious. You need to cherish your body and reward it. When you’re going to the gym and eating healthy you reward your body. It’s when you eat shit while watching TV that you are punishing your body, not the contrary!

9 Be conscious of what you eat

If you want to be healthy and fit, you need to be careful about what you eat. Industrials and lobbies are trying to make us think their shitty products are good for us. But the truth is that all these processed products, cereals, pizza, chips, biscuits, sweets, fasts foods, sodas are 100% shit and are dangerous in the long term for our health. These products contain dyes, preservatives, fertilizers, and way too much sugar. I don’t even talk about meat, fish and animal milk that are disgusting and full of antibiotics.

10 Sugar is the worst drug

By the way, you need to be conscious that sugar is a real drug and it provokes a strong addiction to our brains. Industrials have observed this phenomenon and are adding crazy sugar quantities to make you become addicted to their products. Not only sweet products like cakes, sweets or cereals but also savory ones!

Scientists have proven that sugar is awful for the body in the long term and can cause serious diseases. Obviously, a bit of sugar is not bad for us, but it’s a matter of quantity. Always check the percentage of sugar on the product and if you see that you are addict to a product, avoid it!

11 Grow up: never stop to learn

We should never stop learning. When you’ve finished your studies/ school, learning should not be stopped! We should always take time to watch interesting emissions, read good books, listen to amazing videos and talk with smart people. Growing up is a slow process and it’s all along with life!

12 Gratitude is the key

When you start having new projects and you want to achieve new things, you need to be grateful and be happy with what you already have now. It’s very important to be grateful for what life has already given to us before asking for more!

13 Don’t complain, act!

Complaining is to easy to do and it’s for losers! You are a winner, so don’t complain, act! Take the lead on your life, and change what you don’t like! If you don’t like your job, leave it! If you don’t like your city, move! But don’t wait, nothing will happen if you don’t change it on your own!

14 Find your passion and do a job you love

Never do a job you don’t like. You can not do a job you hate and wait for 5 pm, wait for the weekend, for the next vacation … No! Don’t live a life that is not yours. You need to find a job that makes you jump out of the bed every morning, a job that inspires you! Find what you are passionate about and make it your job!

15 Believe in you and ask for what you want

Believe in you is probably the best advice I can give you! You don’t need the approbation of anyone to do what you want. If you want to do something, just do it. Stop searching for the approbation of others. Great things take time but if you believe in you, you will be unstoppable!

Clearly ask for what you want! Don’t wait for something great to happen if you don’t ask. Dare to ask clearly to the persons concerned what you want. Yes, the first 99 people can say no, but the 100th, the last one can say yes, and that will be the only thing that matters at the end!

16 Be true to yourself

The best way to be true to yourself and honest is when your actions, what you say and what you think are aligned. Never do or say something that doesn’t correspond to what you think, or that is not aligned with your values. Being honest is the most important thing in personal life but also in the business.

17 The money doesn’t buy happiness!

Ok, this one is my favorite advice and this is the one we learn when we travel a lot. No, the money will never buy happiness and even the richest people on the planet have problems and they are not the happiest guys in the world. Certains people on this planet are happy with a minimum of material possessions. They are just happy to be alive, to be healthy and to be with the persons they love. In the end, aren’t they the most important things?

Sometimes, in this consumer society, people get crazy and lost sense of true happiness. I’m not talking about immediate pleasure but real happiness. You will never be happy because you have a pair of shoes in every color, a luxury bag, or car. This is just your ego that is talking! And that is ruining your wallet by the way! You are not what you have, you are what you do.

18 Make choices, take risks,

You will need to make choices and take risks! If you want to realize your projects, don’t be afraid to make a choice and to take risks. Many people are afraid to make choices because they are afraid to make the wrong ones. But if it is a conscious choice that corresponds to your values and your projects, that will never be the wrong choice.

Also, don’t be afraid to take risks, it is the best way to have amazing results. Go out of your comfort zone, try something new you have never done, push your limits! Move your ass to realize your projects! You can still think about a secured solution to go back to in case of a problem.

You can also read our post about becoming an entrepreneur if you’re interested in this topic!

19 Step back when something goes wrong

Sometimes when something goes wrong, we are so immersed in the moment that we are not able to perceive it with an objective eye. We always make it bigger than it is. This happened to me hundreds of times. When you are so focused on your problem that you make it bigger than it is, there is no way to get out of it. You think about it, you talk about it, you are obsessed about it and the more the times pass the more the situation will get worse.

When something goes wrong, or you when have bad news, the best thing to do is immediately to do something else, think about something else, talk about something else. And go back to your problem 30 minutes after. I swear you will immediately change your vision and see it differently. You will be able to see it as it really is. This is the best way to step back and be able to relativize. Ask yourself if this will still matter in 5 years? If no, don’t spend more than 5 minutes of your precious time on this!

20 Think before acting

The next topic is related to the previous one: always think before acting. This may sound obvious but we often make the biggest mistakes when we act without thinking too much. When we listen to our feelings and emotions and not our brains! Isn’t it the worst thing to be led by our emotions?

When you absolutely want something, ask yourself if you really need it? Is it good for you? Who wants it? Your brain, your emotions, your ego? Is it a choice are you making in full consciousness? Don’t rush, wait a bit, think about it, and make your decision consciously.

Also, when you’re angry, never talk with the person immediately, you could say things you can regret! Always wait for the anger to be calm down and talk with your brain, not your ego!

21 Let go things you can’t change

Another important thing is to learn to let go of things you can’t change. I mean, when you can not change anything on it, why spending time on it? We should never spend time trying to change a person, a situation that is impossible to change. Accept the things as they are and move on.

22 Turn negative into positive

We all had negative situations that happened to us. But it is clearly not an excuse to complain. This is an opportunity to change, to grow and to turn this negativity in a strength! I know it’s not easy to do, but it is really meaningful for me to take a negative situation and try to make it something positive.

How strongly do you feel after failing? Aren’t you stronger now? What conclusions can you make from this situation for the future? Think about it!

23 Live in the present

Also, we should always live in the moment present. Not thinking too much about the past and neither about the future. Don’t spend your time rehashing the past, it’s finished. Don’t either spend your time planning your future life. Be here, now, fully, consciously. The present is all we have now. Make it beautiful!

24 Forget the past

To be fully present, you need to stop thinking about the past. Your mistakes, what people made to you… Everything is finished now, you can forget it! This does not exist anymore anywhere than in your head!

Learn to forgive, for you! Yes, I have well said to forgive, for you. Not for others but forgive for your own peace. This does not mean letting a person entering again in your life. You can totally forgive someone and never see this person again! This just means stop thinking about it, and let it go, for you. Anger and rancor are the worst things you can inflict to yourself, free yourself from these negatives feelings!

25 Don’t let your thoughts control you!

Scientists have proven that we have around 60 000 thoughts per day! Yes, just that! And they are not always meaningful and positive. I know that most of them come to our mind unconsciously, but we can totally become conscious of this process and focus on positives thoughts!

26 Enjoy the journey!

Ok, guys, we are arriving at the end of this post! Thank you for reading until the end! I am so happy to be able to share the advice I got out of my own life experiences. I sincerely hope that it will help you in your daily life. In your personal but also professional life.

I wrote this post because I see too often people living a life that is not their! We should always be true to ourselves and live the life of our dreams! And we should never let anyone or any negative things impact our choices and our projects.

Read this post often, maybe not every morning but every week! Just to remind you that you are an amazing, powerful and unique person! You deserve the best and, you deserve to live the life you have imagined! Love you guys!

Let me know your thoughts in the comments! And follow our next adventures on @chiarabarrasso @jelafaille

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